Zombies

One zombie, so what. Two zombies, who cares. 30 zombies, I just shit my pants. They’re slow and stupid and ugly, but they multiply exponentially and then we’re all fucked. The threat of zombie attack is so real that our family actually has a zombie plan. In making our zombie plan, I’ve come up with some pretty creative ways to kill zombies. And, you can’t just kill them, you have to kill them and say something super cheesy.

Example 1: A zombie is attacking me in my bathroom, so I reach for my hot curling iron and jam it throught the zombies eye and say “Looks like you won’t be needing a makeover.” Cheese-tastic!

Example 2: After a long struggle with a zombie, I hit him with a baseball bat. On the third hit, hit head goes flying off and I say “Three strikes and you’re out.” Mac and Cheesy!

Example 3: I see a zombie coming and I start doing all these really awesome break dance moves, and when she gets closer I leg swipe her and kick her head in and I say “You just got served!” Cheese-alicious!

3 Responses

  1. thebouv Says:

    This post is just one more reason I love you.

  2. ton Says:

    What he said.

  3. zsa Says:

    Did you go into a headstand after the windmill? That’s so dope, Carla.
    CARLA BOUVIER: ZOMBIE KILLER

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