Idol Elimination

Who do you think hates those stupid medleys the most?  Jason, because all his stoner friends are laughing at him?  Michael Johns, because he’s too old for this shit?  Jim Carey, because he’s thinking “Didn’t I used to be funny?”  Or how about me?  It’s like watching Brangelina’s Brady Bunch offspring 10 years from now.  Ooooh… American Idol: Brady Bunch theme night!  David Archuleta can be Cindy!

So, do you think David Hernandez was voted off because he had a bad performance or because America wasn’t ready to have a gay stripper in the top 11?  Yeah, definitely the performance.  Ah, poor David Hernandez.  I won’t miss you.

American Idol: Final 12

Can Ryan and Simon just do it already?! Jeez, the sexual tension between those two isn’t only obvious, but distracting.

Alright, just a few observations tonight, I have Benedryl coarsing through my veins.

Jason Castro holding a guitar, looking into the camera and singing: dreamy. But, you’ve heard of ugly criers, well Jason is kind of an ugly singer (sorry Zsa). He just has all these really weird facial expressions and it doesn’t help that the camera gets an upshot of his nose.

Carly Smithson killed it tonight, but here’s the thing: She’s already had a major record deal about 6 years ago, but her album flopped. So, it’s great that she’s getting a second shot, she’s obviously talented. But what I hate is that American Idol makes it sound like she moved here from Ireland and has been a down on her luck artist, when the fact is that she already had a chance.

I want to hate David Cook so badly and when he started to sing Eleanor Rigby, I thought, here it is, he sucks. By the end of the song I turned to my husband and said let’s name our daughter Eleanor and call her Ellie for short. So, yes, I don’t hate him. In fact, I kind of like him. Please don’t stop reading my blog because I said that!

Poor David Archuleta. He reminds me of someone who just auditioned for the Mickey Mouse Club. He looked so awkward and he forgot the words. It was too painful. I couldn’t watch. He looked like a Monchichi caught in headlights. And he kept doing this weird head shake thing and sticking his arm out. And he forgot the words. Did I mention that forgot the words? Poor David Archuleta.

I’m sleepy.

Step It Up & Dance

Elizabeth Berkely is either a judge or the host of the new Bravo show Step It Up & Dance.

Question: What qualifications does she have that makes her an expert at dancing? That’s like having Paula Abdul judge a singing competition.

Oh wait…

Non-Shy Pooers

I’m envious of Andrew Zimmern, the host of Bizarre Foods on the Travel Channel. No, I don’t want to eat bull balls or ant larvae, but he has got to be a non-shy pooer. When Andrew Zimmern has eaten some bad pig anus, you know he can’t wait until he’s in the comfort of his hotel room. No, he’s going to pull over his elephant and take a dump in the jungle. Whereas me, I’ll hold it for 4 hours just so I can be in the comfort of my own home.

Runner Up: Bear Grylls. The guy ate a sheep eyeball dunked in a geothermal lake and had moss as his appetizer. Mmmm, fiber. I bet he didn’t even have to wipe his ass afterwards.

Project Runway

I am, by no means, a fashionista. I wear the same thing everyday. Khakis, gray hoodie, black shoes. I have so many work shirts, that I wear them on my days off. However, I am enamored, no, obsessed with Project Runway. I love everything about it. I made a survey that I e-mailed my fellow PR-heads about their favorite designers, favorite challenges, and even favorite Tim Gunn-ism. And like loyal viewers they actually filled them out and sent them back!

Unlike American Idol, Project Runway showcases talent without humiliation. The judges are fair and their criticisms are meant to help in future challenges, not make me cringe with embarassment. I love Tim Gunn’s advice, Michael Kors inflection, and the most arrogant designers with talent to back it up. It’s the kind of show that I would watch a marathon of, even if I’ve seen every episode 10 times.