jacked up blog

I just picked my 5 year old daughter up from school and we’re driving home.

Me:  I need to go to Kroger.

Daughter:  I don’t want to go.  Kroger is boring.

Me:  I really need to go.

Daughter:  Please can we just go home.  Kroger is so boring.

Me:  Alright, we’ll just go home.

(2 minutes of silence)

Daughter:  Hey, do you want to go somewhere?

Me:  Where do you want to go?

Daughter:  How about Kroger?

Me:  I thought you didn’t want to go to Kroger.

Daughter:  Yeah, let’s go to Kroger.

Me: Really?  I thought you said Kroger was boring.

Daughter:  It is! (laughs uncontrollably)

Me (on the phone with my husband):  I think she’s making fun of me.

Daughter (in the background):  Hey let’s go to Kroger!  Do you want to go to Kroger? (laughs like a maniac)

1. Fight Club- Nothing says violence like Jazz Hands. I’d like David Cook to be in it, just so I can see the shit beat out of him.

2. Superbad- But Micheal Cera and Jonah Hill have to star.

3. Battlestar Galactica- OK, so technically this is a TV show, but who cares? Can’t you just see it? Boomer singing to her other Cylon clones? Except in my head she’s singing “I Don’t Know How To Love Him” from Jesus Christ Superstar. Oooh, they could have a song and choreographed fight scene!

4. Dawn of the Dead- It could be like Thriller, only scarier! Or less scary, depending on what your take is on Michael Jackson.

5. Iron Man- OK, I admit that I’m throwing this in here because I couldn’t think of another movie. But the more I think about it, the more I like it. I mean, Gwenyth Paltrow already sang in that movie with Huey Lewis and Terrence Howard was in Hustle and Flow. As for Downey, I think he has the chops to sing. I mean if Johnny Depp can do it, why can’t he?